Who’s Your Ride or Die?
And are you someone’s ride or die?
The term ride or die was first popularized by rapper B.G. in 1997 in the song Ride or Die off the album It’s All On U. Jay-Z’s Ride or Die came off his 1998 album Vol.2…Hard Knock Life. The term was probably around for a few years before it got immortalized in song, so we’ll never really know who coined it. But hats off to the utter genius who did.
In street slang it started as a girl who became Bonnie to her Clyde, but over time it morphed into a trusted and loyal friend, regardless of gender. A true ride or die relationship is a two-way street…you have to trust the loyalty of your ride or die and they have to trust yours. It’s an equal relationship, with no secrets, no mysteries and no insecurities. If you don’t implicitly trust your ride or die, they’re not your ride or die. Your ride or die is someone you would do anything for knowing that they’d return the favor. All of the other things we want out of relationships pale in comparison to the comfort of knowing who your ride or die is.
I didn’t use the term in A Long Walk Home, but I wish I had. Forget infatuation, lust, love and trust, being someone’s ride or die is the highest human calling. You probably won’t have more than one ride or die in your entire life, and that’s not a bad thing, otherwise the true meaning would get watered down into some trite cliché. In many ways ‘ride or die’ is a cliché now because it is so meaningful – we humans love to take meaningful things and make them vacuous. But that friend of yours who you get drunk and share an Uber with at three o’clock in the morning is probably not your ride or die just based on that one shining night alone.
It’s reasonable to assume that most people would rather spend their time with their ride or die than with someone who constantly requires reassurance or who makes you feel insecure. You can fake love, you can fake lust, you can even fake trust (for a while anyway), but you cannot fake being someone’s ride or die. You cannot fake the respect, trust and love you have for your ride or die. It’s a mutual thing and it takes a long time to develop, but at the end of the day there is no better treasure.
So, here’s to hoping you have a ride or die and that they know it!